Magician to hand over rubber chicken

CKNW News
June 5, 2004

This is taking things a little too far. Norden The Magician has been asked to give up his partner, Rufus the Chicken. The Canadian Food and Inspection Agency, the people who have struck fear into the hearts, giblets and gizzards of every living breathing piece of Fraser Valley poultry these last few months, have prevailed upon Norden to hand over his scrawny sidekick Rufus.

His RUBBER chicken.

Somehow, you see, they've been under the impression that Norden's partner, Rufus the Chicken, is a live piece of the performers entourage. They got suspicious when they checked Norden's website a second time in the recent weeks and found all reference to Rufus has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared.

Well, that spawned the concern in some tiny little civil servant mind that Norden might be hiding Rufus and that Rufus might be one of those dangerous back yard chickens that should be put to death lest he should sneeze on stage and infect the rest of us. At the very least the polite caller from her majesty's government suggested Norden might like to think twice before bringing Rufus back into the act.

Apparently all protestations from Norden that he had stopped using Rufus in his act since the Avian Flu had been detected fell on deaf and obviously humorless ears. But the caller did seem to go away somewhat satisfied that at least until the outbreak has abated, there is one less local performer whose rubber chicken is not likely to show up on stage and further the spread of this deadly virus.

No, we are not making any of this up. Just ask Norden. Better yet, just ask Rufus.